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"Rollerball"
In this critically panned remake of a 1975 flick that wasn’t exactly begging for a retelling, symbolically named hero Jonathan Cross (Chris Klein) is one of several competitors gliding around an arena ring on Rollerblades, trying to gain control of a metal ball that must be hurled at a goal. The catch: no rules. That means players can beat the stuffing out of each other, as the audience cheers every injury.
Real-world potential: The success of TV’s “Jackass” and “Wipeout,” not to mention the viral spread of YouTube videos prompting “ooohh, that’s gotta hurt” laughter, tell us extreme human pain already entertains. Still, Rollerball could never exist for one simple reason: Rollerblading is just too silly.
